that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
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do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum