If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit