She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.