i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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