Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions