PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
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I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
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Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
All the doctor said was why
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.