actually, I'm a sock model
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
