hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
