12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
