okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
