If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize