we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
