i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
