you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis