You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.