one two three fourrrrnication!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
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I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.