Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
