Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
my poor anus
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
