1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
