I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize