At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
