What a fucking waste of an outfit
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
