Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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