Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
