Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
