I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
