And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
