lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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