____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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