So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
