you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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