What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he shaved USA in his pubs
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
