why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
