So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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