She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
