Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
