My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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