I wannas sexs uuuuu
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
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I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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