Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
