I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
