I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
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