It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
