omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
