Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
