Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
