Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
