Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize