Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
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