Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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