no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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