its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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