she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
