what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
