I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
