I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Send help, water and tortillas.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
