Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
