420 ftw
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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