I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
