Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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