I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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