WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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