So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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