that's an acceptable place to lick
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
