I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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