the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
