White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
