For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
